Here, you can find our Weekly Wisdom series, which gleans lessons about overcoming the struggles of fertility journeys from the weekly Torah portion. Each Weekly Wisdom is posted on our instagram page (@WeAreUprooted).
Rosh Chodesh Adar (February 27, 2020)
This week we celebrated Rosh Chodesh Adar, the beginning of the new month of Adar. There is a song that expresses how this month is often described, “Misheh Nichas Adar Marbim B’simcha,” “when the month of Adar enters we increase in joy.” While this might be a beautiful aspiration for many, it can be very isolating for those on a fertility journey.
How can someone who just experienced a loss, is suffering through a hard IVF cycle, just watched another month pass without a pregnancy, is waiting endlessly to be selected for an adoption, or who just found out that their gestational carrier is not actually pregnant feel happy just because it is now a month designated to feel that way?⠀
What can be done for the people who just can’t bring themselves to feel happy even though it is Adar? How can we help them to feel embraced by the community and break the isolation they often feel?
We can listen, truly listen, bearing witness to their thoughts, feelings, and stories.
Parshat Mishpatim (February 13, 2020)
I need to know where am I
Right at the beginning where I stand
And when can I
Feel safe that I am nearer to the end
Of the story(Excerpt from “Where am I in the story?” from TRYmester, written by Naomi Less and Glenn Grossman)
On a fertility journey there are so many moments when we feel lost–not knowing where to turn next, what to try next, or who to go to for guidance.
In Parshat Mishpatim, the Israelites are in the middle of the desert, not sure how they too can get to the promised land. Then God gives them a present, an angel to guide them.
הִנֵּ֨ה אָֽנֹכִ֜י שֹׁלֵ֤חַ מַלְאָךְ֙ לְפָנֶ֔יךָ לִשְׁמָרְךָ֖ בַּדָּ֑רֶךְ וְלַֽהֲבִ֣יאֲךָ֔ אֶל־הַמָּק֖וֹם אֲשֶׁ֥ר הֲכִנֹֽתִי:
(Exodus: 23:20) Behold I am sending you an angel before you to watch over you on your way and bring you to the place that I have prepared for you.
If only we each had such an angel, guiding us through this journey, and taking us to the place we so desperately want to reach.
While we may not have angels, at Uprooted we have something very close–mentors–people who have been down this path and are there for you, to listen, cry with you, celebrate with you, and be there for you along your journey. If you are looking for such support request your free mentor today.
May we all find guiding and supportive angels in our life to help us along the way.
Parshat Beshalach (February 6, 2020)
The Israelites finally thought they were free. They ran from Egypt, unrisen bread in hand, thinking after all these years they were going to live the life they had always dreamed of.
And, then, just when things were starting to look up : וְהִנֵּ֥ה מִצְרַ֣יִם נֹסֵ֣עַ אַחֲרֵיהֶ֗ם, and behold the Egyptians were advancing on them. (Exodus 14:10) They had the Egyptians behind them and the sea in front of them and they felt completely stuck, trapped, hopeless, overcome by despair.
While we may know how the story ends and that God swoops in and splits the sea, this moment before that dramatic climax is all too familiar to those of us on a fertility journey. How many of us have felt like things were finally going in the right direction, only to turn around and get hit with a wave of bad news? How many of us have felt the only options left for us were not choices we could ever have envisioned or possibly ones we never thought we could survive.
For all those of you currently residing in that space between the Egyptians and the sea, we hear you, you are in our thoughts and you are not alone.
May you have a week where so possibility opens up and you are no longer trapped in the in between.
Parshat Bo (January 30, 2020)
This week’s Torah portion, Parshat Bo, features the plague of darkness.
“Moses held out his arm toward the sky and thick darkness descended upon all the land of Egypt for three days.” (Exodus 10:22) ‘
Rashi (a famous Medieval commentator) explains that the darkness was so think that people could not see one another for three days.
Even without being in Egypt during the plague of darkness, we can feel this way while on a fertility journey–steeped in darkness and as if nobody can really see us.
Loneliness can feel like a heavy blanket of darkness. Going through this journey alone is hard.
Let us give each other light and break the isolation so that we can really see one another.
Has there been anyone who has helped you brought you light and been able to see you during your fertility journey? What did they do that illuminated that think darkness?